LIke a lot of you out there, I wanted a perfect relationship in my life. Before I started my formal wish practice, I hung out briefly on an internet dating site. I met some nice people, I met some scammers, and I met some not nice (real) people. There was one guy I spent more time with than the others. He was funny, kind and interesting. Those are three of the things I wish for in any man I would date. But then it turned out that his health was poor and getting worse.
From the beginning of the relationship, drawing on my own life experiences, I was as supportive as I could be to help him and his family get the care he needed. Over time, with his deteriorating health, we came to an understanding that I had to go my own way. That was so sad.
As I developed my formal wish practice, I revisited this experience to learn more about why this want (this wish) was not perfectly fulfilled. I manifested some of what I wanted in a relationship, but not enough for the long-term. Clarity was lacking.
I thought I had to make a comprehensive list of all the positive traits I want. Then, I realized that the Universe took me literally and gave me only those things. My limited imagination had left out something important - good health! Reflecting on all this, I thought that I should wish for someone “perfect” or “ideal” for me.
As my wish practice developed further, I came to understand that “perfect” and “ideal” for me is too vague for an effective wish. I also realized that what we believe about not wishing for other people comes into play here as well. “I want a man who …” is making a wish to bring someone to me, with an underlying assumption that he will want to be with me. But isn’t that messing with free will? I believe it is.
In our Wish Workshop in early 2021, we had a discussion about wishing for a relationship, and what we realized is that the very best, and perhaps the only appropriate wish is, “I want to be my best self so that I am ready to welcome someone to love who will love me.” It’s a little longer than our ideal wish of 14 words, but we think it is the very best way to approach this particular issue. It protects free will; it puts the spotlight on my highest good; and it talks about “readiness” and “welcoming” - two concepts we very much admire.
I confess, this wish is not on my current list. In the interim, the Universe has brought me so many opportunities to become the best person I can be, I have accepted and devoted myself to that flow. Today, I can share with you, it feels to me like next year will be the right time to add this wish to my list. And next year is right around the corner!
The photo featured in this post was taken by (and is copyrighted by) Margaret A Herrick.