"D" is for Design
Margie: OK, Barbara, what made you think of DESIGN in conjunction with wishing?
Barbara: A lot of people think of life as what happens, meaning that they have no control over what comes and goes in their lives. I used to think like that, but I think very differently now. Ever since I began a consistent, deliberate practice of wishing, I have a much greater sense that I am designing my life.
Margie: Which is to say life doesn’t “just happen”?
Barbara: That’s right! I believe we have much more agency when it comes to what we attract into our lives. This agency is the power to choose to bring our vibration - our emotional state - into alignment with the energy of the Universe that produces what we desire.
Margie: Tell me a little more about “vibration” as it relates to our emotional state.
Barbara: Sure! Have you ever noticed that there is a certain alignment between the emotions a person is presenting, or displaying, and the story they are telling? When someone is describing a negative circumstance in their life (a drama, a tragedy, things not going their way), the emotions you can sense from them (annoyance, irritation, anger, fear, despair, hopelessness) are a match for the emotional tone of the story they are telling.
The same thing is true for positivity. You may have noticed that people who have positive, joyful, and especially grateful emotional aspects, or states of being, tend to attract more of the same into their lives. If we could watch them go about their day, we would most likely find that they make a point to look at things through a positive lens. “Glass half full” as the saying goes.
That’s what I mean by “vibration”. What we think and how we feel when we’re thinking are what sets up our vibrations.
Margie: This is some powerful stuff! And there is so much negativity in the world right now. Isn’t it hard to maintain that positive emotional state, let alone a positive vibration?
Barbara: It sure is! But that is where we humans have the advantage. We can always (always!) choose to think a positive thought, match it with a positive feeling, and bring our vibration in line with the power of wishing.
Margie: I’ve heard you talk about “choice” before. Now it is even more clear how it lines up with designing my life through wishing - through attracting outcomes that fulfill my heart’s desires!
Barbara: That’s right! We have heard it said over and over that humans instinctively keep a lookout for danger. Way back in our history, you never knew when that predator was coming around the nearest rock pile, so you had to be ready for “fight or flight”. That’s a certain amount of “negativity” in the form of “risk management” that comes naturally to us. But that is where our advantage - our ability to choose - comes center stage. Since there are not so many predators lurking behind the next rock in our daily lives, we can choose to set aside those fearful, anxious thoughts, and substitute them for positive, enlivening, enriching, inspiring thoughts.
Margie: And this is not just “being a Pollyanna”, is it?
Barbara: Not at all. There is plenty of neuroscience out there that supports the power of positive thinking, believing, and feeling. And there’s plenty more than anecdotal evidence telling us states of stress, distress, and negativity are most likely to result in a host of health problems. It’s all connected!
Margie: Wow! So now tie this back for us to the concept of “design” and wishing.
Barbara: Gladly! I choose to have a life full of my most desired outcomes, my wishes fulfilled. The way to work the universal power of wishing is to tune my emotional state (my vibration) to the closest alignment I can achieve with that universal power. I do that by protecting myself from wasting time and energy on worry, rumination, anxiousness, distress, or anything like that related to things I cannot control, predictions of futures I cannot know, or downward spiraling in any unproductive morass of negativity.
For me, the key to this is two-fold.
First, I have to catch the negativity before it takes hold. I have learned to identify the thoughts that launch a negative spiral. They mostly sound like, “I’ll never…” or “Why me?” or “When will this end?” The instant I identify one of these thought patterns taking hold of me, I stop in my tracks, address the thinking, and stop it. Even if I’m in the middle of a thought or in the middle of a sentence I may be saying to another person, I immediately stop.
Second, I have a collection I continue to build of positive thoughts and topics, things that really make me smile. I turn my attention instantly to that collection, choose the thought that fits the moment best, and put myself entirely into it, bringing my emotional state along to the level of enjoyment that positive thought or topic brings me.
Margie: This kind of “choosing” sounds exactly like the beginning of designing your life around the most positive emotional state (vibration) you can achieve.
Barbara: Yes, indeed! And it works on so many levels! I’ll close this out by underlining how important it is to continue to build that collection of positive thoughts and topics. I work on my collection regularly, and I even have a handful of “emergency thoughts and topics” for when I cannot think of anything else positive. My pets - Scout, Zen, and Jasmine (pictured above) - are fantastic for that purpose! Anytime my vibration is sagging, all I have to do is think of their latest antics and I am smiling again, moving back into alignment with the power of wishing.
Margie: Thank you, Barbara, for illuminating how “design” fits perfectly in the practice of wishing! Until next time!
Peace and All Good
Margie and Barbara
The Wish Mavens
The photo featured in this post was taken by (and is copyrighted by) Barbara J. Dickinson.